From Romance to Rupture: Exploring the Social Dynamics that Undermine Love Marriages

Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 512 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 512 From Romance to Rupture: Exploring the Social Dynamics that Undermine Love Marriages Saira Sajjad1, Khansa Afzal2, Farwa Hadayat Ullah3, Shanza Qaiser4 1Lecturer, Department of Sociology, GC Women University, Sialkot 2Lecturer, Department of Sociology, GC Women University, Sialkot 3Lecturer, Department of Sociology, GC Women University, Sialkot 4MS Scholar at Department of Sociology, GC Women University Sialkot [email protected] DOI: https://doi.org/ Keywords Love Marriage, Emotional Matching, Sociocultural Issues, Gendered Expectations, Economic Differences, Marital Stress Abstract In Pakistan, love marriages are being sought after because of autonomy, emotional matching, and self-choice, although most of these marriages face sociocultural issues that destabilize the marriage. The present qualitative research study examines the structural and interpersonal conditions of the failure of love marriages with emphasis on the interfering aspects of family, gendered expectations, economic differences, community pressures, and emotional stress. The semi-structured interviews were used to gather data in a sample of 12 couples (24 participants) in Rawalpindi, which was purposely designed to represent the different socioeconomic and family backgrounds. Thematic analysis showed that couples all too often encountered chronic parental and in-law intervention in day-to-day decision making, limited autonomy because of patriarchal gender roles, and increased tension owing to incompatibilities in terms of classes and economics. Marital stress was further supported by social stigma, gossip, and community supervision, and the emotional strain was in the form of anxiety, frustration, and helplessness, which hampered couples from resolving a conflict. These results highlight that individual and interpersonal incompatibility is not the only cause that leads to failure of love marriages, but an indicator of larger structural and cultural forces that play out in families, communities, and the wider society. Using the concepts of Symbolic Interactionism, Structural Functionalism, and Social Constructionism, the study located the concept of marital dissolution within the context of individual agency and shared social norms. The study adds to the literature on the topic of matrimonial transitions in modern Pakistan and South Asia because family education, community sensitization, access to marital counselling services, and mental health services are required to establish enabling conditions to have a stable and equitable marital relationship. These lessons guide government institutions, social workers, and civil society groups that wish to help couples going through the challenges of love marriages in conservative sociocultural systems. Article History Received on 05 Nov 2025 Accepted on 07 Dec 2025 Published on 17 Dec 2025 Copyright @Author Corresponding Author: * Khansa Afzal Lecturer Department of Sociology, GC Women University, Sialkot Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 513 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 513 INTRODUCTION Love marriages, which have been a personal choice, emotional intimacy, and compatibility, are now more of a sight in modern societies, including Pakistan. Although they are supposed to deliver the feeling of independence and choice when it comes to finding a partner, the reality of love marriages is often intertwined with the social norms, family pressure, gender roles, and financial issues (Shah et al., 2025; Qureshi et al., 2020). Arranged marriages, as the history of which was historically a part of the Pakistani society, are approached with suspicion and face societal doubts, and the feasibility of love marriages in such unions is wholly dependent on the more abstract social processes (Walter, 2021). The clash of ideologies between romanticism and the structural reality lends credence to the necessity to make sociological studies that would explain the failure of marriages based on love despite all the mutual love and decisions. It is the urbanization, globalization, and the growing media publicity that love marriages are increasingly being accepted by the younger generations, and in urban centers such as Lahore, Islamabad and Rawalpindi, it is particularly the case. Empirically, the young generation in urban centers is recording an increasing affection towards emotional compatibility and independence than the traditional family system when choosing mates Javed, A. (2024). Nevertheless, love marriages remain tense even in the urban environment, where the family control is still present, and parents, as well as other family members, are still significant in the choices that are based on the marital life and affect their residence, finances, family choice, and even their gender roles (Shah et al., 2025). This unceasing intrusion can develop tension between personal need and social demands and, therefore, it will be a conflict that results in the instability of marriage. Family interference is a salient predictor of the failure of love marriages in Pakistan, which is widely agreed. Qualitative research has noted situations, which families are trying to control or manipulate newly married couples indirectly, frequently with traditional values and gendered roles and duties, and demands obedience (Walter, 202; Sadiq et al., 2024). This interference may be either direct pressure, emotional manipulation or passive rejection thereby creating a social space where couples feel crippled and unaccepted. The tension is especially high in the jointfamily system that is still prevalent in urban areas and the rural territory where multiple generations have to live in one place, and the family structure has a colossal influence on marriage Javed, A. (2024). The gender norms also play a crucial role in deciding the path taken in love marriages. Patriarchal demands and expectations tend to determine gendered roles which conflict with the values of egalitarians which most love marriages are founded on. An example is that women can be asked to put their duties at home first before considering their career goals, yet men are meant to exercise control over matters concerning finances and social life (Shah et al., 2025). When the role expectations that partners formed through the marriage contracts conflict with the demands of the partners who got married on the basis of equality and mutual choice, couples can live in a state of constant stress and disillusionment An international study also shows that gender disparities in the household increase the strains in marriages, especially in societies that have social structures that limit the agency of individuals (Amato & Previti, 2003; Cherlin, 2010). Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 514 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 514 The love marriages in Pakistan are further complicated by differences in classes and economic incompatibility. The unstable financial situation or incorrect socioeconomic status may create tension in the simple management of households, social responsibility, and interaction with extended family members (Walter, 2021). Whereas the so-called love marriages are usually romanticized as unions based on personal preference and not material issues, the everyday life, cultural and social expectations, and mobility reality most of the time reveal the differences in financial literacy, income, and life ambitions. It is argued that couples sharing the same economic and social status can solve these pressures more easily, but the gaps make them more susceptible to conflict and family breakage (Shah et al., 2025; Sadiq et al., 2024). The other important reason is the social stigma of love marriages, especially in rural or conservative communities. Couples can also be challenged by the neighbors, extended family, and community members who consider love marriages as sinful or immoral (Walter, 2021). Such social pressure may damage the social support system that is an integral part of marital resilience. The absence of family and community support can contribute to the possibility of isolation, stress, and interpersonal disputes among couples, as these factors can result in the separation or divorce. The clash between the dreamy presumptions of romance and realities in the society is aggravated by the shifting demands on intimacy, communication and emotional satisfaction. Love marriages in Pakistan have a humorous beginning in marriage where the partners begin with high hopes of emotional maturity and equality in the relationship. However, the ideals may clash with structural and cultural facts such as the established gender norms, hierarchical families, and the economic restrictions that may be viewed as the overt causes of conflict (Javed, A. 2024; Shah et al., 2025). This is congruent with the world literature that brings out the fact that the success of romantic unions is not just based on individual compatibility but the social, economic, as well as the cultural setting (Amato and Previti, 2003; Cherlin, 2010). The theoretical models give an understanding of such dynamics. Structural functionalism views marriage as a social institution that performs the following social functions in society: socialization, economic stability, and regulation of reproduction (Parsons & Bales, 1955). In this view, love marriages can be faced with some tension where they interfere with the traditional expectations and roles, hence challenging the established social structures. Symbolic interactionism provides a parallel perspective in that it deals with meanings that people assign to marriage, love, and family demands (Blumer, 1986). The couples bargain and redefine these meanings in the framework of daily activities with family and community, and conflict arises when individual meanings are not shared among people. Moreover, the social constructionist approaches also stress that love, marriage, and family are not predetermined but depend on the cultural norms, media images, and social discourses (Giddens, 1992). The failure of love marriages, therefore, requires a study of both the micro-level processes and the macro-level forces on society. Although increasing scholarly attention has been given to love marriage failures in Pakistan, there is still limited research on the topic that has focused on the experiences of couples who have to struggle through the pressures of their families, society, and financial matters. The majority of the Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 515 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 515 previous studies have either analyzed the marital satisfaction within the arranged marriages or have offered a general demographic survey on the rate of divorce, but have not explored the qualitative aspects of the social and cultural determinants (Sadiq et al., 2024; Shah et al., 2025). Such a gap highlights the need for research that prefigures the personal accounts, which reflect the paradox of the autonomy of individuals, romanticism, and structural limitation. This gap is covered by the present study via qualitative research of the sociological causes of failure of love marriages in Pakistan. The research by interviewing people who have undergone the dissolution of love marriages examines the interaction of cultural expectations, family interference, disparities in classes, and gender expectations to cause marital instability. The thematic analysis helps the research to identify similar patterns of conflict, stress, and negotiation in these marriages, giving a clue about the process in society that destroys a romantic union. On the whole, this research is suggested in the context of personal choice and stress to understand the issue of love marriages that despite the assurances of independence and emotional readiness, meet multiple difficulties that lead to their dissolution. The study, with its theoretical perspective, Pakistani social context, and examples of qualitative studies, contributes to the creation of the nuanced portrayal of the contemporary marital shifts and the input that may be provided into the world of the policy makers, family counsellors, and the social researchers that aim to promote the stability of relations in the shifting social environment. Research Objectives To explore the sociocultural factors influencing the failure of love marriages in Pakistan, including family interference, social norms, and community pressures. To examine the role of gender norms, class disparities, and economic factors in shaping marital conflict and instability among couples who opted for love marriages. To understand the lived experiences of individuals in failed love marriages, focusing on emotional, relational, and social challenges that contributed to marital dissolution. Research Questions How do familial expectations, societal norms, and cultural pressures influence the stability of love marriages in Pakistan? In what ways do gender roles, economic differences, and class-related factors contribute to marital conflict and eventual rupture in love marriages? What are the personal experiences and coping strategies of individuals whose love marriages have failed, and how do these experiences reflect broader social dynamics? LITERATURE REVIEW The sociology of marriage tends to place the relations within the context of larger structural and cultural patterns. Structural Functionalism perceives marriage as a social institution that performs some of the most important functions to society, like reproduction, socialization, economic cooperation, and sexual behavior regulation (Parsons & Bales, 1955). In this light, marital stability depends on conformity to normative roles and expectations. Love marriages, with their basis on individual choice and not on arranged constructions, may conflict with these functional norms, creating tension in the family and social networks (Giddens, 1992). The focus of Symbolic Interactionism is on day-to-day interactions and the meaning conferred to the roles of relations (Blumer, 1986). The main goal of a couple is to Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 516 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 516 negotiate expectations, perceive family and social cues, and co-create marital realities through continual communication. The inability to communicate correctly, the failure to comprehend the roles, and the contradiction of individual values with the social forces may destroy the stability in relations (Mead, 1934; Giddens, 1992). Social Constructionist views also emphasize that the ideas of love, marriage, and family are not fixed but are mediated both culturally and historically (Berger & Luckmann, 2016). Love marriages tend to be seen as deviant or modern in such a society as Pakistan, as opposed to the traditional arranged marriages. This image affects not only the acceptance of the family members but also the acceptability of such a marriage in the broader society, thus impacting the experience and longevity of such unions. The world is witness to the studies that have revealed that love marriages are not necessarily more stable than arranged marriages; it is a combination of the cultural, social, and other economic issues that determine whether or not they will succeed. In the United States, Amato and Previti (2003) noted that external pressure, family support, and economic compatibility, rather than the selection of a partner, affect marital dissolution. Likewise, Cherlin (2010) emphasizes the fact that the so-called marriage-go-round phenomenon in contemporary societies shows how people are going through relational decision-making in the context of changing expectations, values, and goals of institutions and individuals. The research on South Asia shows subtle trends. In India, Grover (2017) reported that love marriages are often met with disapproval of the family, intergenerational conflicts, and caste-related stress, and as a result, increase the chances of marital strife. Similar results in Bangladesh indicate that those couples who marry contrary to parental expectations feel isolated socially, have less family support, and face more stress in relationships, which leads to a higher level of conflict (Antora, 2019). These research articles demonstrate that structural and cultural backgrounds are highly sensitive in determining the outcome of marriages even though the result of marital outcome was good initially in romantic compatibility. Pakistan is still characterized by arranged marriages, and in cities such as Lahore, Islamabad, and Rawalpindi, love marriages are being pursued (Shah et al., 2025). Love marriages bring about bigger changes in the society like urbanization, education, globalization and exposure to the media. However, despite this tendency, not all types of love marriages are equally socially acceptable and couples in such cases face a harsh level of critique and judgement in their families (Walter, 2021). The most important factor that has created instability in the love marriages is family interference. Sadiq et al., (2024) emphasized the situations when parents and extended families impose restrictions in deciding on marriage, especially in terms of living location, finances, child upbringing, and gendered roles. Joint-family structures typical of Pakistan can cause in-laws to have a significant role, influencing the day-to-day decision-making and creating a clash between partners, as the former focuses on independence and romanticism (Javed, A. 2024). These findings are supported by international studies. In the Middle East and South Asian contexts, parental control and extended family supervision are strong predictors of marital happiness and stability, particularly in particular, collectivist cultures (Le & Impett, 2020; Grover, 2017). Love marriages are viewed as transgressive by families, which Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 517 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 517 relates it to the possible social stigma, dishonor, or even exposure to non-conformity to cultural norms, increasing the relational stress. The direction of love marriages is primarily influenced by gendered expectations in Pakistani society. Patriarchal norms dictate that men and women with specific roles that may work against the egalitarian principles that tend to drive love marriages (Shah et al., 2025). Women are often supposed to bear the central role of domestic chores, child-care, as well as family honor, and men are supposed to control the financial and social decisions (Walter, 2021). The gendered expectations may produce a conflict situation when couples unite through marriage with egalitarian or modernist anticipations, which are prevalent in urbanized, educated communities (Javed, A. 2024)). In the same way, the international literature observes that nonconformance to customary gender roles is also a risk component to marital discord, especially in societies that have high patriarchal values (Amato & Previti, 2003; Cherlin, 2010). Additionally, love marriages often defy generational authority, with the couple taking charge of making decisions. Agency in marital roles among women may be limited by social expectations and norms of obedience and culminate in emotional strain, decreased marital satisfaction, and increased conflict(Antora, 2019). Gendered power dynamics, therefore, intersect the ideals of love-marriage in order to shape the processes of relation and marital outcomes. The other factor of love-marriage stability is economic compatibility. Research suggests that a lack of financial stability, inappropriate earning rates, and variation in the consumption patterns can create conflict between partners (Walter, 2021; Shah et al., 2025). Although love marriages are founded on personal decisions as opposed to material issues, couples have to face the facts of managing a household, social life, and lifestyle demands. The differences in classes tend to increase the disapproval of the family. Different socioeconomic backgrounds can cause couples to be more scrutinized by families and society, especially where status, ancestry, and economic equality are valued by the social norms (Sadiq et al., 2024). These stresses increase the effects of relationship pressures and could reduce access to support networks, which could further deteriorate marital stability. Amato and Previti (2003) show that economic incompatibility and financial stress are among the well-founded predictors of marital dissatisfaction and divorce, which portrays the universality of the dynamics in different cultural scenarios Love marriage is a concept that normally subjects the community to scrutiny and stigmatization in Pakistan, especially in the conservative or rural areas. There is also criticism, gossiping, or even social exclusion, and it compromises social support networks that allow new couples to remain resilient in their marriages (Walter, 2021). The subsequent isolation would only deteriorate stress and conflict and consequently, improve the environment within which the relational strain is developed. The same trends are traced in the literature of India, Bangladesh, and Nepal, where intercaste or interreligious marriages between love partners are rather criticized within the community, and a marriage is likely to be conflictual or divorced (Grover, 2017; Antora, 2019). These findings underscore the relevance of the larger social and community system in relation to the impact of its effect on divorce settlement, particularly among such couples which are struggling to make Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 518 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 518 romantic choices that do not conform to the norms. Social pressure, family interference, and economic issues are also other emotional factors facing love marriages in Pakistan. The partners often feel stressed, anxious, and suffer relationship burnout trying to align their individual expectations and structural constraints (Javed, A. 2024)). In previous studies on Pakistan, semi-structured interviews also suggest that emotional strain is aggravated by the perceived lack of family support, combined with the lack of community networks or the inability to meet the roles of a particular gender (Shah et al., 2025). These views are supported by international literature. According to Cherlin (2010), conflicting expectations amongst couples and external pressures by family, society, etc, tend to increase relational stress in modern marriages. Equally, Amato and Previti (2003) observe that unmet expectations and emotional dissatisfaction are some of the key factors contributing to marital instability regardless of the marriage arrangement and or romantic choice. Although there has been an upsurge in research on the dynamics of marriage in Pakistan, empirical literature concerned explicitly with the failure of love marriages is limited. Much of the available literature covers marital satisfaction in an arranged marriage, divorce rates, or theoretical data on romantic ideals, but does not investigate the qualitative and lived experiences of people who experience marital failure in love marriages (Sadiq et al., 2024; Shah et al., 2025). There is a specific requirement of the studies that could combine sociocultural, gendered, economic, and familial aspects and represent the interactions of these aspects so that their combination could determine the relational outcomes. Moreover, a significant part of the global literature focuses on individual-level factors, and the Pakistani studies should take into consideration collectivist norms, the intergenerational authority, joint-family and community surveillance, which establish a unique social environment of love marriages. These gaps will be filled with policy-relevant findings, will inform family-counselling practice, and will guide policies to assist in maintaining the stability of relations in Pakistan today. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION The chapter reveals findings of a semistructured interview done with twelve couples (twenty-four participants) who reported failed love marriages and lived in Rawalpindi. Using the thematic analysis framework developed by Braun and Clarke (2006), it was possible to define five major themes which were familial interference, gender roles and power dynamics, economic disparities, community pressures and social stigma, and emotional strain. Each of the themes is discussed in detail and backed by several quotations of the participants, analytical interpretation, as well as being placed within the context of similar Pakistani and international literature. Theme 1: Familial Interference and Lack of Support The couples had always insisted on the intention of family interference as a key stressor in their marriages. Some participants explained how in-laws and parents were involved in the daily decision-making process and that they tended to affect the autonomy of decisions and create conflict. One woman shared, “My in-laws constantly monitored everything I did, from how I managed the household to small decisions about my personal life. It felt Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 519 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 519 like I had no independence in my own marriage.” Her spouse added, “Even when we disagreed, our families would take sides and enforce their own views, leaving us feeling powerless and isolated.” Such experiences are in line with Sadiq et al., (2024), (Walter, 2021) who stress that jointfamily life and the role of parents in Pakistan tend to restrict the freedom of couples. The imbalance of power may be created by the family pressure as it may destabilize the communication process between the spouses and result in the aggravation of the conflict. Other couples described indirect interference, such as pressure to conform to family preferences regarding residence, social interactions, and lifestyle choices: “My parents insisted we live in their house and follow their routines. It created constant arguments between us, because we had our own expectations for married life.” “Whenever there was a disagreement, both families would reinforce their own views rather than helping us resolve the issue, which made the marriage very stressful.” Family intrusion is a source of stress that occurs in several dimensions and affects the autonomy and marriage stability of the individual. Symbolic Interactionism explains the manner through which these family expectations mediate the meaning of authority and relationships roles (Blumer, 1986). Together with the Pakistani culture of collectivism, this meddling reinforces structural constraints to love marriages, which aligns with the international literature stating that the family impact is a determinant of marital satisfaction (Le and Impett, 2020; Grover, 2017). Theme 2: Gender Roles and Power Dynamics There was a tension that arose because of gendered expectations. Some respondents defined a struggle between the equality principles and structural patriarchal principles. One woman articulated, “I expected my husband to share household responsibilities, but I was still expected to manage most chores because that is what a wife is supposed to do.” Her husband reflected, “My wife wanted to work and contribute financially, but my family saw it as disrespectful. I was torn between supporting her and obeying family expectations.” These narratives align with the findings of Javed, A. (2024) and (Shah et al., 2025) that show that the traditional nature of gender roles is preserved in the Pakistani society, thereby generating a state of conflict when the couple embraces the values of modern relationships. The subsequent conflict instills relationship strains in the long run, and this reduces marital satisfaction. Other couples discussed disagreements over decisionmaking and authority: “Even small decisions, like household budgeting or social gatherings, would turn into major fights because we had different role expectations.” "I often felt I could not voice my opinions freely because the societal idea of a 'good wife' dictated my behavior." The issue of power and gender norms are intertwined closely with the culture, and the difference influences the systems of expression and coping in love marriages. These results align with the other evidence on the issue of larger South Asian studies, which refer to the gender-based power imbalances as an applicable predictor of marital dissatisfaction (Antora, 2019; Amato and Previti, 2003). Pakistan Journal of Social Sciences Review (PJSSR) ISSN (e) 2959-8052 (p) 2959-8044 520 https://pjssr.com.pk/index.php/Journal/issue/archive |Page 520 Theme 3: Economic Disparities and Class Differences The question of financial incompatibility emerged another necessary factor that created conflict in marriage. Others of the couples moaned that they had discrepancy in their spending patterns, financial planning and expectations of the economy. One participant stated, “Our families constantly criticized us because we came from different income groups. It made cooperation and decision-making very difficult.” Another added, “Even though we loved each other, disagreements about money were frequent and exhausting. It affected our overall relationship.” The stores could be analogized to (Walter, 2021) and Sadiq et al., (2024) who explain that the economic disparities and the differences in classes in the Pakistani love marriages can also contribute to the relational pressure. Another aspect of the article is that a financial incompatibility predicts the dissatisfaction with the marriage, although the mode of marriage is considered (Amato and Previti, 2003). Additional participants described the intersection of economic stress with familial interference: “Managing expenses became more complicated when our families‟ added expectations for social obligations and gifts, creating tension we could not manage.” "Even when we tried to compromise financially, external pressure from relatives created arguments that we could not resolve on our own." The economic differences are cross-covered onto the family expectations to create a multilayered stress environment. Classes disparity influences the social acceptability of the society and relations within the family, which complicates and makes the love marriages more conflictual. Theme 4: Community Pressures and Social Stigma Couples highlighted the role of societal judgment and gossip in destabilizing their marriages. A participant shared, “Our neighbors constantly commented on our marriage, which made us feel judged and isolated.” Her husband added, “Friends and relatives treated us differently because we married for love, not family arrangement. That social pressure was constant.” Such empirical findings align with the efforts of Grover (2017) and Antora, (2019) who state that in the collectivist society, social surveillance systems and established norms within the society possess a significant influence on marital stability. Further participants discussed the impact of stigma on mental health and relational trust: “People whispered about our „disobedience‟ to our parents, creating shame and tension that affected our relationship.” “We often felt unsupported by the community, which made small disagreements escalate into larger conflicts.” The phenomenon of social stigmatization increases existing family and gender compulsions, thereby forming a self-fulfilling cycle of isolation, which isolates couples even more. Moreover, the name of the community serves as an additional means to subdue the sources of emotional support and simultaneously enable the traditional norms to the disadvantage of self-reflection of the structural limitations in Pakistani and South Asian literature.