Literature, humor and death in old American cemeteries: gravestones on death: words on life

Revista de Estudias Norleamericanos, n.º lJ (2006) , pp. 93. 108 LITERATURE, HUMOR AND DEATH IN OLD AMERICAN CEMETERIES GRAVESTONES ON DEATH: WORDS ON LIFE AURELIO GONZÁLEZ ÜVIES Universidad de Oviedo Death is mankind's most absolute reality and most certain contrary event. And also contrary are the very differing altitudes that man , since time immemorial, has adopted towards the fact of death. Gravestones -at fir st brief in scriptions, w ho se gradual evolution eventually consolidated an entire literary genre-therefore constitute an in va luable record of beliefs, reflections and express ions that relate death to the way of life and cultural backgrounds of th e deceased. They are usually formal, solemn, laudatory compositions, and are generally in memory of an exemplary, paradigmatic person. However, there has never been a lack of those who, without avoiding such formalit y, and with simple images of everyday life, have conceived and represented the act of dying with an ironic or frankly humorous grin. Old American cemeteries bear good witness to this kind of epitaph, which is a lwa ys ready for a bitter smile and a play on words. Such epitaphs have been co llected in respective publications by Mann, Thomas, Greene, Janet and Hall, Alonzo. As outlined in the above title, the funerary epigram -leaving aside those with a votive, honorific theme-has carried out, s in ce ancient t im es, the task of perpe tu ating man's lif e and dating his ineluctable end. At first they were brief compositions, containing no more than a name and an affiliation, and with thc precise purpose of preserving the deceased from eternal anonymity. They continued evolving under th e influence of various genres, and eventually acquired a literary lu m which «comes so clase to the elegy that in the case of sorne p oe ms it may be do ubted whe th er one is dealing with brief elegies or extensive epigrams.»1 So the epitaph has become a matter ' Del Barrio Ve ga. M .•. L. Epigramas funerari os ¡: riegos. Madr i d: 1992. 13. 94 Aurelio Gon:ález Ovi es of praising, 011 the one hand , the glories and virtues of the departed a11d expressi ng, on the other hand, thc grief always involved in the loss of a loved one. The best k11own and most widespread type of epitaph is without doubt the epigram, which is encomiastic and solemn, and which by means of the elegy or praise of the deceased leads to thc panegyric. But besides this ceremonial and honorable funeral poetry in which, through the centuries, clichés and commo11places have abou11ded everywhere, we find another kind of composition which, without lacking the basic ingredients of the paradigm -a ca ll to the passerby, styles of greeting, the immortality of memory, a request for eternal rest and so 011- have altered themes and lightened their inflection so as to transmit a less grave an<l scvere vision of the last but most certain reality of mortals. The ingredients of the paradigm are still present becau se this type of composition transfers to artistic creation the same worries, doubts and reflections about the fleeting nature of life and the unavoidable presence of death, but almost always with a less «religious», more ironic and frankly sarcastic pcrspective. It is the same grief, but admixed with mockery. lt is the same bitterness, but softened with a comic vein. Old American cemeteries, as we shall see, and as roadsides had been in antiquit y, are good messengers of the culture of communities; for cemeteries - those silent spaccs on the outskirts of cities where stones lie for century after century, covering death and hclping us to discover life-speak to us of beliefs and faith, rites and customs. ways of being and patterns of bchavior, of past generations and th eir history. Even though most monum ents obviously involve rernembrance, cemeteries may be defined as rnonuments of memory. And those same cemeteries which we are deali11g with today are at the same time an irrefutable testimony ofliterary compositions whi ch instead of comm uni cating fcar of death have rnanaged to demystify it wi th expressions in which ridicule and bitter-sweet feelings converge. The Christian religion has not managed to focus on it with such nonchalance. The following analysis will be based on the interesting anthologies of Hall, Alonzo. Grave Humor. Charlotte: Santa Barbara, 1962 and Mann , Thornas / Greene, Janet. Over their dead bodie s. Brattleboro: Vermont, 1962, which include representative ex.amples of epitaphs from cemeteries in Vancouver, New Jersey, Alabama, Colorado, Montana, and Missouri, among rnany others. These compositions are the subject of the present study due both to their type a nd their contents, and they almost always mention tbe name of the deceased, which is a mai n ingredient of the commemorative essence of the funeral epigram. There are few cases of decisive anonymity, wbich cx.press a sentirnent such as the one in this ep itaph from Hartford ( 1882) -somewhere betw ee n a sarcastic remark and a reprisal: Those who cared for him whi le living will know whose body is buri ed here. To others it docs not matter. (Mann no. 184, 87).2 1 T he numb er and the page of the composilion are indicated wherc necessary. Literawre, f111111or and Death in Old American Cemeteries Gravestones . .. 95 Another explicit and direct retaliation at cur ious readers may be found on a grave in Stowe: 1 was somebody. Who, is no business of yo urs. (Mann no. 185, 87). l. SENTENTIOUS EPITAPHS There are many epitaphs which, influenced by sim ilar genres, try to teach us a moral lesson, based on a whole range of ideas and beliefs about human existence. They are brief messages, usually put into the mouth of the deceased. which warn us of the universality of death, which must not be forgotten, as life and death are common to ali mortals, as in a marketplace where -in any street, town or citywe must ali me et , as is suggested in the me t aphor of th e ins cr iption to Sarah Byfield (Norwich).3 Examples such as the following express this idea in a simple and direct way: Josiah Lyndon Died Augt 8 1709 Behovld and See For as T am Soe shalt Thov Bee But as Thov Art Soe Once Was 1 Bce Sure Of This That Thov Must Dye. (Mann no. 10. 6). With an address to the reader, a formula which heads most classical epitaphs, we receive confirmation of the irreversible morta li ty of mankind and ali our attributes from Henrietta Maria Bray, frorn Norwich (England): Hcre, Reader, you m ay plainly see, That Wit nor Humour here could be A Proof against Mortality. (Hall 29). ' Death is a market wherc ali must mccr. I it 's found in every city. town, and stree t. / tf wc our lives like mcrchandise co uld huy , I the rich would ever live. thc poor alone must die. (Hall. 68). 96 Aure/io Gonzá/ez Ovies Life is truly no more than a passing gift, a loan whose expiry date we ig nor e, but it is a debt which must be met on death, jus t as Plato, Euripides and many other classical authors had affinned. This id ea is reflected in the words of Lucina, from Surry (New Hampshire): In Memory of miss Lucina willcox, who Died May 7th 1800 aged 20 years. Death is a debt by nature due; I've paid my s hot A nd so must you. (Mann no. 75, 36). Dying is a serious truth, and li ving is a joke, as is demonstrated by ali o ur li ves together and as the writer Thomas Gay (Westminster Abbey) left engraved for posterity: Life is a jest, and ali things show it; I thought so once, and now I know it. (Hall 11 ). Our existence is always on a tightrope and death is always near. In the same moment that our Iives begin, we start to die.4 Time flies and a certain end is unsure, which sometimes implies the philosophy of enjoying each moment as if it were the last, far from vain desires and ambitions which distance us from the true joy of living: Reader, I've left this world, in which I had a world to do; Sweating and fretting to get rich:- Just such a fool a5 you. (Hall 68). And this is the only true and lasting honor, and conse qu ently the most comfo11ing merit -and in this respect there ha s been no change in life or tim es nor origins or race sthis is the true etemity for that common, endless night which is 4 Words on !he tomb of Lilly Wilson (Plymouth ). who dic<l 3 April 1809, at the agc of 68: Our Ji fe is ever on the wing / and death is ever nigh I the moment when our livcs begin / we all beg in to die (Hall. 68). Literature. Hu mor cmd Death i11 Old American Cemeteries Grave. nones ... 97 achieved thanks to a wholly tranquil conscience. These are the words with which the family of F. Frceman (Plymo uth) expresses its affection on the stone of Nancy Williams, an African se rvant, and the epigram conta in s Iess raci sm than we are accustomed to on a daily basis: Honour and shame from no conditions rise: Act well your part -there a li honour li es. (Ma nn no. 123, 58). 2. MEN'S EPITAPHS Epigrams d edicated to masculine personalities tell us about h onor and impeccable conduct, conform ity to the way of the world, temp erance an d serenity of spirit. In that of James, who di ed in 1821 , we read: This modest stone, what few vain marbles can, With truth may say, here lies an honest man. Calmly he looked on either life. and here Saw nothing to regret; nothing there to fear. (Mann no. 1 11, 53). There are a lso many inscriptions which, without adjectives or biographical references, simply aim to ex press an id eo lo gy or a stoic conception of life as a transition to true permanence in the hereaftcr. The ing enious inscription of John Hyde is representative: Here Iies John Hyde; He first liv'd, and then he died; He dyed to live, and liv'd to dye, And hopes to li ve et ema ll y. (Ha ll 62). And in a graveyard in Savanna, we find th e «grave» gravestone of P. Fe ll, whic h lists briefly: A Republican A consistent politician And strictly honest man. (Hall 86). 98 Aurelio Gonzá/ez Ovies Ot h ers , without sparing th e work of the e ngraver or l eav ing a space for humility, prepare or express a true currículum vitae for eternal life. That of Tomas Bailey could not say more in l ess space : Thomas Bailey: A most desirable neighbor, A painfu ll preacher, A pleasant companion. An eminent Jiver, A common good, A tend er husband, A cheerful doer, A careful father, A patie nt sufferer, A brother for adversity, Lived much in little A faithful friend, time. A good copy for ali surv iv ors. Aetat. 35 He slept in Jesus ye 21 " of Jany 1688 (Hall no. 4, 3) . 3. WOMEN'S EPITAPHS In ep itaphs dedicated to women, without much variation from classical examples in which it was usual to underline a long seri es of domcstic qualities such as lanifica, pia, pudica, casta, domiseda, pudens, etc.,; there is an emphasi s on fidelity, affability, kindness and perfection as a mother, ! ove for the famil y, sweetness towards relatives and so on , as appears on a gravestone in Massachusetts , with reference to a young woman whose name is not mentioned: She was an affectionate Wife, a dutiful Daughter, a happy mother, a kind and sincere Friend. Ala s sweet Blossom short was th e Period that thy enlivening virtues cont ri buted To the Happiness of those connections, But O how long have they to moum the lo ss of So much worth and Excellence. (Mann no. 121, 57).• ; Se c F. Plcssis. Épitaphes. Paris: 1905. 4-5. • Cf. no . 165 and no. 16 8. Literature, Humor and Death in Old American Cemeterie.r Gravestones . .. 99 An example of ma le-chauvinist commemoration of female virtues, if ever there was one, and a confirmation of the idea that literature reflects its historical context, is the brief epitaph to be found in Boston, which reads: She looked well af t er the hogs, the chickens, And cows, and always kept my socks darned. (Hall 1). But there is no lack of examples of other kinds, which jusi seek to create wordplays and witticism, without showing any consideration or being specific, although they often revea) more than they hide: Mary Anne has gone to rest, She now sleeps on Abraham's breast; It's mighty fine for Mary Anne B ut not so good for Abraham. (Hall 9). 4. EPITAPHS FOR THE YOUNG Epigrams about young people, as had already been shown in classical times, constitute a good opportunity, based on the common idea of immatura mors, to express one of the deepest pains, due to the fact that nature neither follows its natural course nor respects its own laws. The aptitudes most frequently remembered by survivors are youth and beauty, meekness and hope, or calmness and happiness. A gravestone in Plymouth (Mass.) celebrates th e rnemory of a girl aged eight by playing with such ep ithets: As young as beautiful! And soft as young. As gay as soft; and innocent as gay! (Mann no. 84, 39). And in North Carolina we find the cliché of the puer senilis, the young old man, a talent ed individual who already showed signs of goo d conduct and exceptional qualities which are normally associated with older people. The comparison, which is taken from nature, is as follows: This was a child that showed the man As morning shows the day. (Hall 38). 100 Aurelio Gonzále~ Ovies The image of the flower, as a sy mbol of ephemcral beauty a nd as a metaphor of tend emess c ut down before its time , like a bud which shines in the moming but is broken by n ig htfall, has al ways appeared on graves tones . The se verses from a cemetcry in Wilmington are an example: Ere sin could blight Or sorrow fade Death carne with friendly care The opening bud to heavcn convcyed And bade it blossom there. (Hall 1O1 ).' Other cxamplcs of cxpressions which allude to the same semantic fi eld are as follows: - Another sweet fiower bl ossoms in heaven - A finer hud of promise never bloomed -Budded on Herat to bloom in heaven (Hall 99)." In the same way, parents w ho are disconcerted by loss an d anguish have not ce ased to turn to their faith and to find sup port in fonnulas of self -consolation which ha ve come down to our times from a maxim atlributed to Menander. I refer to the say ing that «those who the gods wish to hav e cla se to them die young», which we tind in a ce metery in Greenville, among others: -Those whom God laves die young (Hall 99). The sume fundamental idea , a mixture of r esig nation and brilliance, is exprcssed in the following distich, which is from a cemetery in St ar kville (Mi sso uri): He couldn 't get what he want ed from us: So he went to Jesus. (Hall 99 ). ' Fur common sayings in ancient times see Lier, B. «Topica carm i1111m sepulcralium /atinorum.» Phi/ologu .1 ·. (1903): 445-477 y 563-603; 1904: 54-65: especially 4 56 lT.; Boyancé, P. « Funus aar/111111. » Re1• 11e des í:rudes Anciennes 54 ( 1967): 275-289. Also my own stud y: Poesía funeraria latina (R e 11aci111ie11to Carolingio). Oviedo: 199 5. 249-276. ' C f. Curmi11a Lmina Epigraphica 216. 58; 96 l; 1040; 1064; 1607; cte. Literature, Humor and Death ín O/d American Cemeteries Gravestones ... 101 However, there are those who avoid ali kinds of euphemisms and, going beyond wit, give a sarcastic, explicit description, or possibly even one which contains fcrvent emulation: Here líes a virgin with her babe Resting in her arms. (Hall 19). There are also those who value the prematurely lost being in terms of pain and dollars, but not without suggcsting, between the Iines, a Christian vision of life as a valley of tears: Here lies our darling baby hoy He never crys nor hollers He lived for one and twenty days And cost us forty dollars. (Mann no. 71 , 35). And therc are othcrs who compare the magnitude of the unhappy fate and greatness of thc dead person with the insignificance of the scatological cause of death, as found in an example from Portland (Maine): The little hero th at líes herc Was conquered by diarrhea. (Id. 99)! 5. LOVE AND MARRIAGE We have a lr eady seen how, after death, both spouses wish to leave a sign of thcir reciproca! affection -or sometimes incompatibility-whether it is the wife toward her husband or the husband toward his wife. Faithfulness in marriage, !ove for their children, constancy, affection, mutual respect, descendants: thesc have always been sorne of the most frequent themes of epitaphs. An example may be found in Boston, wherc a son perpetuated the memory of his parents: Josiah Franklin And Abiah his wifc. • Sec also Mann no. 55, 29 and no. 115. 55. 108 Aurelio Gon:ález Ovies Lattimore, R. Th em e. 1· in Greek and Lati11 Epiraph s. Urbana: 1942. Licr, B. «Topica carminum sepulcralium latinorum .» Philo/ogus , (1903): 445-477 and 563-603; 1904: 54-65. Mo ra , B. «Le portrait du défunt dans les épitaphes (700-1300 ). Fonnu laire et stéréotypes.» Le Mo ye 11 A ge 97 (1991 ): 339-353. Plessis. F. Épilaphes. Paris: 1905. Sanders. G. Lapides Me mor e s. Paie11s et chrérie ns fa ce it la mor /: Je lémoignage de L'épigraphie fun éraire latine. Epigrafia e Anti chita 11. Ed. Angela Donati, Dorothy Pikhaus and Marc van Uytfanghe. Faenza: 199 l.